Reflections of An Ex-Control Freak, Part II: Rain Drops!

*DING*

It finally hit me! The light bulb came on, the heavens have opened over my head....the Rain Drops poured!

So a few weeks ago, I confessed my Addiction to Control on this blog. (okay, calling it an addiction is weird but that's what it was.)

My name is Sophia & I'm a control freak. In unison now: Hello Sophia. (yeah, this is Addiction - of any kind - Anonymous.)

So anyway....here's how the revelation came, how I came to release my inhibitions in God's very capable, all knowing Hands. Something I thought was a good thing came to an uprupt - let's call it - pause, b/c the jury's still out on the verdict. Okay, this is usually how I operate when a God blesses me with a good thing. I take off running in my mind of what's next & how things will pan out. Wrong. I'm always wrong about my assumptions.

Continuing.....A second good thing comes along, I figure in my mind, 'oh, so this is why the first good thing over there is on pause b/c it was not meant to be. it served its brief purpose.' HA! Then I learn the second good thing is not as 'good' as I thought, and my mind jumps back to 'well the first good thing is still a possibility.'

Do you see what's going on here? I'm setting myself up for self-destruction. Mind you, my assumptions (b/c that's what they are, I'll admit it) are not prompted by revelation from God. It's all me! Trying to figure out GOD! Isn't that INSANE! Like really, figure out what God is going to do when His Thoughts are not my thoughts, His Ways are not my ways. He does exceeding & above ALL I can ask, do or think! He's the Almighty GOD, here! See where I'm going with this?! I cannot out smart the One that knows ALL, concerning me, you, my mama, your mama, our families, the WORLD.

Back to my revelation.....God appeased me. He was like, 'alright here's the purpose of the second good thing.' (PSA: God relates to me in this way. We just tight like that. Don't be jealous. Seriously Spend time with Him today!) And before He could finish. I said inwardly, 'I don't want to know, I don't want to know, God. I can't handle it.' By this time, my heart was beating fast in anticipation of what He would say. I was thinking is He going to say what I think He's going to say, am I going to like what He is going to say? O-D (over drive)

It was then I admitted I don't want to know. I Trust God. I really don't want to know. I trust Him to know He has my best interest at heart. He's not going to stray me, as I put my trust in Him and ALLOW Him to lead. He's got me. He's got US. We just have to trust.

My revelation is this. I thought I wanted to know the outcome. But the truth of the matter is I cannot handle knowing what the outcome will be. I believe that is why God reveals some things to us in one season and reveals other things in later seasons. We would mess it up if we knew what the outcome of certain areas of our lives will be. Think about it. We would try to accelerate the process to get to the results quicker or run away from the process b/c the results are not what we want.

That is why He's the ALL Knowing God. And I'm just Sophia. B/c He knows what I cannot handle. He will not put more on me than I can bear. And that's real.

My prayer is that this reached those who needed this most. Amen

Love. Peace & SOOOOOOOOUL ~ yeah, this was serious but i just had to end in humor.

I'm praying w/ you. He's got you. Believe It.

I may not know you but I love you enough to share my journey. Blessings : )